


UNCLE Meets the Consulting Detective Affair

by jkkitty



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-13 21:09:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7137185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jkkitty/pseuds/jkkitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Napoleon, Illya and Josephina****  journey to England to work with Sherlock and John to stop Thrush with Moriarty's help destroying unknown locations in London.</p><p>****  Josephine Kuryakin is a AU character and introduced in The Changing of Past Beliefs story in the MFU stories.</p><p>Written for the Crossover Challenge on Live Journal's Section 7</p><p>Thanks to Sparky for her wonderful Beta Work       Words 7,311</p>
            </blockquote>





	UNCLE Meets the Consulting Detective Affair

Napoleon Solo sat in one chair flipping through his month playboy magazine while Illya Kuryakin sat opposite of him reading a science magazine chomping on a sandwich. From the other room, random languages expressed the anger of Josephina Kuryakin.   Looking up from his magazine, Illya gave his partner an exasperated smile, “My sister is letting her frustrations be known, again.”

Napoleon said, “I’m glad I wasn’t the one who told her about the arrangements that had been made but to be a fly on the wall would have been fun.”

A furious Jo stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.  “You think this is funny? I do not need to be protected by the two of you much less an English chap while his partner while I break the code and put a stop another plan for the destruction of the world.”

Knowing it was useless, Illya put down his magazine, walked to his sister and tried to hug her but was pushed away.  “Josephina, be reasonable.  You discovered embedded codes that we have only begun to be decode but seems to have a dateline of less than a week.  Thrush knows your computer skills and is displeased you came across their code.  We know as well as they do that if anyone can break it, you can.   Waverly wants this done and what he wants will happen. Now will you please get ready to depart?  The Section Three escorts to the airport will be here in fifteen minutes, and before you complain, Waverly ordered them.”   

“I am packed but just so you two know, I am outraged that all of you think I cannot protect myself.”

Grabbing her suitcase, she was out the door and toward the elevator leaving the men to lock up her apartment and hurry to protect her as she pushed the down button on the elevator.

……….

In England, Sherlock Holmes laid on the couch back facing John Watson and his brother, Mycroft.  He had returned from Scotland Yard to find the ‘minor government official’ sitting in his chair.   After heading to his bedroom and changing into his dressing gown, Sherlock returned and threw himself on the couch without saying one word.  He was in a major sulk and refused to acknowledge either of them.

“Sherlock, the Queen asked you to deal personally with this situation.  Miss Kuryakin’s and your work will benefit not only England but also humanity. The encrypted communications between this Thrush organization and Moriarty has been unbreakable up to this point.   Miss Kuryakin has begun making sense of it, but knowledge of London plays a large part in the information she has uncovered. And that’s where your expertise is needed.”   Mycroft voice had risen slightly.  He was tired of trying to get his brother to take the situation seriously.

“Boring,”  Sherlock yelled then buried himself deeper into the couch and mumbled something in reply that sounded like, go away.

“We know Moriarty and Thrush are showing interest in her.   Whether it is to kidnap or kill her, we’re not sure. Whether or not you help her, you’re already put on the firing line, as Moriarty knows you will be able to help solve the code. John, talk to him, will you before I wring his neck?”

“Boring,” yelled Sherlock.

Usually, John wouldn’t get in between the brothers and their petty squabbles, but this time, Mycroft was correct, Sherlock’s knowledge of London was needed.  “With your knowledge of codes and London and her computer expertise, the two of you working together should be able to crack it before whatever is being planned happens. Sherlock, as much as I hate to say this, your brother is right.   Protection must be a priority for both of you.  At least look at what he has brought.”

Sitting up in a huff, he demanded in his deep baritone voice.   “Why can’t this UNCLE protect her?   I mean she is their agent.   Moreover, why me?  It doesn’t even sound like a six to me.”

Mycroft could tell he had caught some of his brother’s interest and a little bit of honey might work now. “They are sending their best two men, but we all agree that someone with a knowledge of London inside and out would be necessary.  And who knows London better than you?” Flattery always worked on Sherlock and Mycroft wasn’t above using it when needed.

  “And what do I get out of this, if I accept?”  Sherlock glared at his brother with a snarl on his face.

Sighing, Mycroft knew it would come to this, “One favor at the time and place of your choosing under the condition it is not illegal.”

Sherlock turned his head so Mycroft couldn’t see his smile, “Fine! However, I have one condition; every monitoring device will be removed from here by the time we return.  Leave the files and get out.”

Reaching the door, Mycroft said.  “Be packed and ready, the car will fetch you two and then the UNCLE agents from the airport at ten.  From there, we’ll head to the safe house.   Can you at least get dress and meet them as a professional instead of a homeless vagabond?   As the safe house is prepared with all the things you need, I will have the place guarded as if it is the Queen herself was in resident.”

Waving his brother away, Sherlock growled in a tone that surprised even himself.   “Just remember when this is over, everything in this apartment, and I do mean every camera, microphone and guard will be removed.   Now get out, I’m sure your cake is getting stale so piss off, Mycroft.”

As the bottom door closed, Sherlock began to jump around rubbing his hands.   “Christmas, John, Christmas.  Going up against Moriarty and this Thrush organization.   I’ve heard they are worse than Moriarty. I can’t wait to tangle with them.”

“If he is working with them, this will be very dangerous.   Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Me stupid, never.   Now shut up and let me think.”

“Just answer me one thing first, why do you do that, Sherlock?”

“Do what?”

“Give your brother such a hard time.   You know as well as I do that you wanted to do this.  Why not just say yes?”

“For several reasons:   First, it irritates him.  Next, the fat git is too lazy to do field work himself and therefore has to admit that he needs me.  Finally, I got a get out of jail free card with this.   One favor with nothing he can demand of me plus all security removed.    I think I got the best of him this time.”

“I’ve crossed paths with this Illya Kuryakin before.   He worked for UNCLE England for a while.   He is short, about your size John,” he said giving John a smirk, “But a solid bunch of muscle.   A crack shot, speak numerous languages and a scientist in his own right.  A very interesting young man.  According to the file here, Solo is the stagiest. He’s the one who creates the plans usually and can change them as needed but Kuryakin is the one that makes them work.   It seems the two of them complement each other and are the top team in UNCLE.”

“And the girl?”  John wondered aloud.

“I don’t think I would call her a girl if I were you.   She also speaks numerous languages, a computer expert and it is noted that although she is excellent with a gun, but deadly with knives.  It seems she doesn’t appreciate people holding her gender against her.”

 “They seem like quite a team.   Hopefully, when we go against Moriarty, it will be a little easier, this time, to come out ahead.”

“Oh, I think Jim knows all this and is well prepared.   Now let’s look at the file of the computer expert put together and the information that has our Queen worried.” Sherlock began to search the file further.

……

James Moriarty sat in a vacant warehouse with four other men lead by Robert Euphuism, head of the satrapy that represents Thrush in this area and running this attack on London. 

“Look, Moriarty; we know what we’re doing here.   It wasn’t my idea to involve you in this affair but Centra’sl.   So if you do just what you’re told, we’ll get along well.”  Euphuism demanded of the Irishman. 

“I’d watch your tone when speaking to me,” Moriarty voice never elevated in anger, but the grin on his face warned of danger.  

The door to the warehouse opened allowing Sebastian Moran to enter.  Walking over to Moriarty while ignoring the people at the table, he whispered into his ear before standing behind his boss.

Standing and slamming his hand on the table Euphuism yelled. “How did you get in?   I had guards posted around the building.”

 “Everything is set for their welcome to London?” Moriarty asked taking no notice of Euphuism outburst.

Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest and a grin on his face.  “Yes, boss.” Then to Euphuism  Had is the correct tense.” As he finished red dots danced over the men from Thrush, who were sitting at the table.

“How dare you?  Who do you think you are?”  The Thrush agent face turned red with anger.

“Now I am going to tell you how this is going to play out,” Moriarty’s voice was dripping with anger.   “When I give you an order, you will do as I said.   I’m in charge of this little game I’m playing with the Holmes brothers.”   With a nod of his head, two of the other men at the table dropped a bullet hole between their eyes. “Do not make daddy mad or you will find yourself joining your men.  I will be in touch after I make the next move and give you your orders. DO NOT DO ANYTHING UNTIL THEN.”

Turning, Moriarty headed toward the exit with Moran following him. As the doors of the warehouse closed, the red dots disappeared from the rest of the remaining men.

……

Jo came out of the room she had locked herself in before takeoff and leaned over to place a kiss on Napoleon’s lips.   “Sorry,” she said looking at Illya also.   “I just hate being treated as a victim instead of an agent.”

“Got that the last time this happened.   Illya rolled his eyes before reading over the file on Holmes and Watson and getting ready to give the rundown on them. Care to join us?”   Napoleon asked. 

 Her answer was to make herself comfortable on his lap and take a deep breath.  “I guess I do not have a choice.  Okay big brother, tell us.”

“As you know I spent time in England before coming to New York.   Although I did not work with them, they were well known to UNCLE.  Sherlock Holmes is rude and arrogant but a brilliant consulting detective who lives a life that has danger following him around.   He calls it the art of deduction.  If he is allowed to look at the situation, he usually can solve it almost immediately.    Doctor John Watson was an army physician and expert marksman who will give his life to protect his partner.   The two together make a team that criminals fear having on their case that was until Moriarty appears.   He seems to take joy in teasing and testing them.”

As he finished, the plane taxied into a private section of the London Airport and was surrounded by black cars.    As the door opened, a man dressed in a posh three-piece suit with an umbrella on his arm arrived and leaned on it.  Napoleon and Illya stood in front of Jo with guns out.

“Gentlemen, please relax.   I’m Mycroft Holms, the Queen’s representative in this case.”

Behind him was a taller black curly hair man wrapped in a long dark Belstaff who let out a snicker, “My brother IS the British Government.   I’m Sherlock Holms, and this is my partner John Watson.” Sherlock said pointing to a short man with sandy blond hair.” “You’re here for my help so can we just get on with this and bypass the pleasantries.”

“Sherlock!”  John raised his voice causing Sherlock to pout.

“A bit not good?”

“More than a bit now be civil and no deducing them.”  John gave him a firm look.

Mycroft shook his head, used to the behavior from his brother.  “We will be heading directly to the safe house that has all the equipment you’ll need to work on the code.   Unfortunately, it will take a while to get there.”

As the group began reached the ground, a number of cars sped across the field with guns blasting.  Pulling their weapons, Napoleon and Illya knocked Jo to the ground while the elder Holmes pushed John and Sherlock down.  Mycroft’s men spilled out of their cars that were surrounding the plane firing back when a yell was heard, and Mycroft fell.   Pushing John off, Sherlock ran to his brother as the enemy cars took off.

“You idiot,” Sherlock yelled.   “Why did you put yourself in danger, we can take care of ourselves.”  Removing his blue scarf, he pushed it against his brother’s arm, “We need to get you to a hospital.”  The fear for his brother life shone deep in his eyes.   He would never admit it, but Mycroft meant more to him than anyone knew.

John joined him to examine Mycroft.  He placed a comforting hand on Sherlock’s shoulder, “He will be okay.”

“I know.”  Sherlock pushed himself off and headed for the cars helping Mycroft to get up while pressing his scarf into the wound.  “You git.   I’m supposed to do the fieldwork not you.”  And then to not let show his true feelings, “If you were killed, I’m not dealing with mommy.”

 “Let’s get him to the hospital,” One of Mycroft security ordered.

“No,” Mycroft refused.   “I’m not dead, so you don’t have to worry about mommy. We’ll get going to the safe house immediately.  It can be clean up in the car.   John can deal with this.” He looked at John for agreement.    With a disapproving look on his face, John gave a small nod agreement.

Napoleon helped Jo up, brushing her off.   “Is everyone else okay?”  Then as he brushed off his pants noticing the small hole in his pants knee.  “Already, these are brand new.”  He moaned but was ignored by Jo and Illya.

After some affirmatives, Illya spoke softly but still, so everyone heard him.  “Good thing the security was so tight, hate to see if it was lacking.”

As they were secured in the bulletproof cars, Sherlock’s  phone started playing _Staying Alive._

“What do you want Moriarty?” Sherlock demanded as he answered the phone.

“Just wanted to say hello to your visitors.   I hope the Ice Man isn’t too injured?”

“I asked you what you want other than to play another game.”  Sherlock was angry.

“I was asked to help shake up the government so a group can get a stronghold, and you know how I like a challenge.  Have fun decoding that code the young lady has.   You only have three days before it all goes up in smoke.”  Jim disconnected before Sherlock could answer.

 Throwing his phone at the back of the seat, Sherlock sounded as he was growling.  “That maniac.  Three days.   He gave us three days to figure this out.”  

Silence occupied the car as they pulled away.

…….

The route was a complicated one.   They began in a black car that took a roundabout way to get to an underground parking garage where they transferred to a delivery truck that had been converted with seats.   The last transfer divided the group into two cars with blacked window and delivered to a shed.   Once outside the cars, they entered the attached house to find themselves out in the middle of the country.  Trees surrounded it but were about a fourth of a mile away. 

Inside the house, they found Lestrade waiting for them.  “And you are?”  Napoleon demanded his gun suddenly in his hand

“No need to be concerned,” Sherlock said a look of disgust on his face.  “My brother obviously thinks I need two watchdogs.   He’s DI Geoff Lestrade and my brother’s boyfriend.”

“It’s Greg,” John and Lestrade corrected together.

“I’m not here as your watchdog, you git.   Mycroft asked I me to help his men with yours and Miss Kuryakin’s safety.”

“As if we need help from a group of idiots that work at Scotland Yard or Mycroft.” Sherlock threw over his shoulder as he wrapped his coat tightly around himself and dropped into the nearest chair.

“A bit not good, Sherlock.  Greg is here to help not be insulted.   Now behave.”

As John stitched Mycroft’s arm, the rest settled in except for Jo and Sherlock, who were wearing holes in the carpet.  The incident at the airport didn’t install confidence in the security of the assignment.

Napoleon had enough and knew they needed to find out what had gone wrong.  “Sit down, Jo.” He demanded.

She stopped her pacing and glared at him, “Josephina, sit now.”   He ordered pointing to a couch that she throw herself on to in a huff.

Sherlock kept pacing until John yelled.   “That goes for you too Sherlock.  Sit down now!”  He threw himself into his chair also in a huff.

It was hard for the others in the room not to laugh at Jo and Sherlock both who looked like five-year-olds who had their favorite toy taken away.

The kettle whistled, and John pulled mugs out from the cabinet making tea for everyone.   After serving it, he sat down in his chair and waited for the explanation of what had gone wrong.

Illya looked at Mycroft, “What happened?   I thought our arrival was supposed to be a secret?”

Before Mycroft could answer the door opened, and the guns of those in the room were focused on it.

“It okay, that’s my PA Anthea.” As guns were lowered, Mycroft demanded, “What happened at the airfield?”

 “It was one of the newer men, sir.    It seems Moriarty got to him.   The problem has been permanently taken care of.”

Mycroft was silent for a moment.  “Is everything else in place?”

“Yes, sir.”  

Napoleon googled the woman who had entered.  As his eyes travel over her body, he felt a slap on his arm.

“You do remember I am right next to you correct?”  Jo glared at him.

“You know you’re the only woman for me, but I do need to look.” Napoleon placed a small kiss on her pouting lips.

“Just remember that,”  Jo warned.

Nodding to those present, Anthea left  with her attention back on her blackberry.

“Then for the night, we’ll get some rest.  There are many bedrooms, pick one and settle in.    The danger has been dealt with, and my men will be guarding the property.  I suggest everyone get some rest.”

“Illya, first or second shift?” Napoleon asked.

“Gentlemen, I assure you, my men,” Mycroft began but was interrupted by Illya.

“Your assurance leaves something to be desired, sir.   We will be protecting my sister and Mr. Holmes as ordered.   Napoleon, I slept on the plane so will take the first shift.”

Watson covered his mouth to keep from laughing at the look on Mycroft’s face while Sherlock lets out a belly laugh.  “Seems, brother dear, not everyone bows down to you.”

Giving Sherlock a look that said not to push it, Mycroft said, “As you wish.”

With that, the people split up to rest.  

……..

The next morning Napoleon, Illya and John were walking the parameter checking on Mycroft’s men and the surrounding area.   Each person would take turns later walking the area to give themselves peace of mind. Although the area seemed secure, the UNCLE agent had learned never to trust the quiet and John seemed of the same persuasion.

“Do you find yourself in danger often working with Sherlock?” Napoleon asked John.

“If we aren’t racing after a suspect, being threatened with guns and knives, falling into the Thames, he is doing experiments that are either noxious or explosive. But I wouldn’t want him any other way.    He is so smart he makes the rest of us look like grade schoolers.”

“And Mr. Holmes?”

“As smart as Sherlock.  However, he is the control behind the throne.   He has his fingers in the MI5, MI6, the Secret Service and any other department that involves undercover orientation.   If there is a problem involving England and the rest of the world, you can be sure his finger is in it.”

As they walked along, one area of the perimeter seemed to have only a few men stationed.    The three men walked toward it and were suddenly sucked down into the ground.  

“ _черт(damn)”_ Illya muttered as he pulled himself out of the mud with the help of the guards who had come running to help them.Within moments, John and Napoleon were standing next to him.

“Ta,” John and Illya said to the men helping them as Napoleon said thanks.

“Another pair of pants destroyed.  Waverly is going to kill me,”   Napoleon bent down trying to remove the mud that was halfway up to his knees.

“Now many pairs of pants does that make this month,”  Illya smirked rolloing his eyes.

“Funny Kuryakin.   And how many cars did you wreck this month?”   Napoleon shot back.

John looked at the two men, then said.  “I didn’t think you were in that deep.”

Napoleon looked at him confused, “I was right next to you.   You saw how high it went.”

With a small laugh, Illya stepped in.   “Napoleon.  American pants are British trousers. Pants in the UK are underpants and worn under trousers.”

“Wonderful, even in an English speaking country, you correct me,” Napoleon trudged ahead of them.

“Do not mind him,” Illya nodded toward Napoleon. “He has this thing about languages and accents.” 

Both men laughed as they approached the door to the house.    Napoleon had the first watch and left them to rest up.

The two-hour walk checking the security had Illya and John’s stomachs rumbling as Napoleon left to take another walk around the perimeter while they headed into the kitchen. They were talking and sitting with lunch spread out before them.  Mycroft had fully stocked the kitchen, and they were enjoying the food while on a break.  Illya’s sandwich was full of everything available.  A raised eyebrow from John had him explaining.

“As an agent I never know where the next meal will come from, so I make the most of food when I can get it,”  Illya explained.

“I’m the same when on a cast with Sherlock.   He can go days without eating.   I take every opportunity to eat that I can.”

After eating, the two decided to take a nap while they could, only to wake by yelling from the room that Jo and Sherlock had set up their information.

…….

 Jo had it.   She threw a pillow at Sherlock’s head.  He had been lying on the couch dressed in a blue dressing gown and pajamas while in his ‘thinking’ pose after posting pictures, copies of the code and writing on some them.   He hadn’t said a word for over two hours and refused to answer her questions.

“Ummmm, what did you do that for?”   He demanded opening his eyes but not moving from his position.

Jo was fuming.  “We are supposed to be working together instead you have messed up that wall and then went to sleep.”

“This is what I do.  Now if you can get your emotions under control…”

“How dare you?   Who are you to tell me what to do?   I am trying to help save your England.”  She spit out at him.

“Please, it’s not my England that’s my brother’s position.  I’m the man who found the clue to help solve this.”

“Oh you did, did you?   Well, tell me your solution, mister high and mighty.”

“Look closely at the code.”

“What do you think I have been doing the last month since I found the code   Sipping vodka and eating bonbons? _Вы не что иное, как два года старый умный задницу королева драмы.”_

“I assure you I am older than two, not a smart ass, but others have always told me I’m a drama queen.   Now would you like me to tell you what I found or do you want to continue to have a temper tantrum?”

“You speak Russian?”

“Among others, may I proceed?”   A nod of her head had him continuing.  “If you look closely, you will see there are five codes combined into the one we are trying to solve. Every few words or numbers the code changes.”

Jo looked carefully, “How did I miss it?  I have looked at this for the last month and did not notice it.”

“As you said you were looking at it for over a month.   Shall we try to decode it then?”

Quickly the two of them separated the codes and working on solving them.

“That’s it.  We have the sites and the locations of the explosives.”  Sherlock announced.    He printed off the sites and was about to post them to the wall when the sounds of a low-flying plane interrupted his progress causing Jo and Sherlock to head toward the window.

…….

“Do you think it’s safe to go in the room now?   The shouting has stopped.” John asked Illya. 

 “Jo has stopped yelling, so that is a good sign.  She has been doing so well controlling her temper lately.  I know she is under pressure, but it is unusual for her to lose her control like that.”

“Oh, I’m sure that Sherlock could make a saint lose their cool.  What’s that sound?”  John asked and a moment later Illya and John headed outside just in time to be caught in the mist that was trailing out of the plane.

As the men guarding the site began to fall, Jo and Sherlock came running out to see what was going on.

“Get back in the house, and barricade the room,” Napoleon pushed them back through the door before succumbing to the mist himself.

Even in the house, Sherlock and Jo soon joined the men guarding them into unconsciousness.

……..

Sherlock and Jo woke at the same time tied tightly to a chair.   Sherlock was just in his vest and pants while Jo was in a sports bra and underwear.

“My head,” Jo complained.  “Why do Thrush’s drugs always have that effect?”

Looking around she spotted Sherlock,   “How are you?”

“Other than a small headache, I’m unharmed.”   He began tugging on the ropes but found whoever had tied them up was an expert.   No chance to get out of them and nothing left on his person to help.  

The cell door open and Robert Euphuism came in smiling.   “Oh Miss Kuryakin, I’ve waited so long for this moment.  And Mr. Holmes, I understand I hit the jackpot with you.”

“I see you managed to recover from our last meeting,” Jo taunted.  “Thrush actually put you in charge of something again? I will have to try harder next time to show them how worthless you are.”

A hand shot out, leaving a reddened area on her face and throwing her head into the backhand following the first one.

“Leave her be!”  bellowed Sherlock.  

“You aren’t exactly in charge here, Mr. Consulting Detective.   I am.” He followed the comment with a fist to Sherlock’s face then stomach.   “You two will answer one question, and then Miss Kuryakin and I will have some real fun.”

Knowing that Sherlock understood Russian she said, “ _Если он теряет свой нрав, он теряет контроль над своими эмоциями и сделает какую-нибудь глупость  (If he loses his temper he loses control of his emotions and will do something stupid).”_

“Speak English! You Russian pleasant and tell me if you cracked the code.” Euphuism demanded.

“ _Иди к черту (_ go to hell _)._ ” Jo answer.

“Mr. Holmes, perhaps you will be willing spare yourself torture.   Did you crack the code?”

“As Miss Kuryakin said, _Иди к чертy.”_ The grin Sherlock gave him as he answered only angered the Thrush agent more.

“Soften them up gentlemen, just don’t kill them,”  Euphuism said as he moved back to the chair in the corner.

For a time, the only sounds heard were slaps, punches, and a 2x2 hitting the limbs of the prisoners. 

……..

Opening their eyes, Napoleon, Illya, and John found themselves looking at shiny black shoes and an umbrella tapping on the ground.  Looking up, they saw a furious Mycroft staring at the men around him.

“What happened?”  Napoleon demanded.

“I made a mistake.   The idea of an aircraft dropping nerve gas didn’t cross my mind.   Miss Kuryakin and my brother are gone.”  Mycroft admitted.  

“You made a mistake!”  John yelled standing up quickly and almost fell back down.   “The British government made a mistake, and now my best friend and a young lady are missing.”

“John, there is no reason for hysteria.   It was a slight miscalculation, and we’re working on finding them.” 

Raising a fist, Napoleon touched John’s shoulder to get his attention and shook his head.    “This isn’t going to help at this time.”

Illya had managed to stand up in the meantime and crowded into Mycroft’s space.  “That young lady is my sister whom you assured would be safe in this house.”

“I assure you,”  was as far as Mycroft got before John had his hands around his throat. 

Only the sound of guns being cocked had Illya pulling John off the government official.

“Always so angry John.   I don’t see how you and Sherlock get anything done.”  Mycroft shook his head.

Napoleon stepped between Mycroft and the other two men.  “This is getting us nowhere.  Perhaps you could be less condescending, and you two can calm down.  What are you doing about finding them?”  Napoleon became the voice of the angry diplomat that was trying to keep the situation from getting worse.

Pulling himself up to his full height, Mycroft said.  “We were able to trace Sherlock’s phone to the warehouse district but at that point, it was shut off.   The area has about fifty empty buildings, and it’s going to take searching them individually to locate them.   I have men on the way as does the NSY.”

“So let me get this clear.  What you’re saying is that Jo and Sherlock are in the hands of Thrush and Moriarty, probably being tortured for how much of the code they were able to crack. And in the meantime, we have only a day to find them before the bombs are due to go off.”  Napoleon summarized, anger clear in his voice.

Anthea interrupted and handed the print out from Sherlock’s printer to her boss.  “It seems as if the two found the locations of the bombs. With a nod from Mycroft, Anthea left to direct the bombs removal.  “My men will wait as long as possible before taking care of them.  We’ll search for Sherlock and Josephina and hopefully find them before the bombs are removed.  Now would you like to join the search or continue to argue.”

“When they don’t explode, their lives won’t be worth a thing,” John mumbled earning a glare from Mycroft.

“Let’s find them before,” Napoleon decided it was best to head off any more hostility between Holmes and John and Illya.

The men entered the cars that had pulled up and soon were speeding toward the empty warehouses.

………….

Arriving at the site, Mycroft’s men and the NSY men split up and began to search the factories.   Napoleon, Mycroft, Illya and John were discussing strategies.

“Isn’t there a way to cut down the number of places we need to search?   What about your cameras?” Napoleon asked.

“The whole area went black yesterday, and because of the location they weren’t considered the priority to be back up immediately.”

“And you did not think it was strange that it happened after the two went missing?”Illya demanded.

“It wasn’t brought to my attention until we started looking for them.” Mycroft shot back losing his usual cool.  “You seem to forget that my brother is also missing.”

Napoleon pressed his two fingers to the sides of his nose.   He felt like he was sitting on a powderkeg with the three other men. 

“You’re supposed to know everything, why didn’t this register on your radar?”  John was angry.

“Enough!” Napoleon shouted   “We’re getting no place.    Right now I suggest that John and Illya start there, and Mr. Holmes and I will begin here.  

“That isn’t a good idea,” John said sarcastically.   “After all, he is the British Government. We wouldn’t want something to happen to him.   Besides he’s used to being the boss, not fieldwork.”

The silence that followed could be cut with a knife.  Mycroft knew that John felt he was overbearing with his brother but at the statement he felt hurt and couldn’t understand why.

Napoleon saw the second of hurt from the older before it was hidden away. “Maybe it would be a good idea for you to direct all the operations, Mr. Holmes.  That way we won’t be repeating what was searched,  I’ll go with Illya and John.” 

Anthea returned after sending agents to stand by the bomb.   “Sir, we have a command post set up over by the first warehouse.”

Mycroft took a minute to think things through before following his PA.  

After he was far enough away, Napoleon turned to the other two.   “I understand you two are upset about the situation, but he has as much if not more to lose as us.”

John opened his mouth, but Napoleon interrupted him.

“We all have our own way of caring.  Now can we start searching?”  He began walking toward the first warehouse and was soon joined by the other two.

……

The crashing of the door stopped every other noise.   “What do you think you’re doing!”  Moriarty demanded as he entered the room

“Trying to find out if they solved the code and warned the authorities.  What does it look like?”

“Didn’t I tell you not to touch them until I arrived?” His voice was shaking with anger.

Euphuism knew he had messed up and tried to find a way out of the trouble he could see in the Moriarty’s eyes.

Ignoring the Thrush chief Jim walked over to the prisoners.  “Sherlock, you still with us?”  Lifting his head, Sherlock’s one multicolored eye glanced at him.   The other was swollen shut along with most of his face being black and blue.

“The girl?”   Sherlock managed to squeak out.

Jim looked over at the next seat.   The ‘girl’ was unconscious, her eyes swollen shut and bruises starting to turn black over her face and arms.  Looking down, he saw both of the prisoners with dark bruises and swollen legs.

Placing his arms behind his back, Jim strolled over to Euphuism.   “I believe I gave you an order.”  He said this with an undercurrent of fury present.

“You weren’t around, and we needed the information.   If you wanted to interrogate them, you should have been here when they were brought in,” Euphuism’s voice took a nasty turn.

“And I told you that I was in charge of this operation.   Your boss also told you to follow my orders.   This was a Thrush operation, and they asked for my help.  WHAT PART OF MY INSTRUCTIONS DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?” 

The Thrush agent finally understood that he had made an enormous mistake.  Hoping for rescue, he said, “My boss will back me up.   You can’t threaten me.”

“I am not threatening you. I promise you that you will not like what is going to happen.  Now where is Holmes’s phone?”

“His what?”

“His phone.   Where is it?”

Euphuism handed it to Moriarty and began to move back but was stopped by Moran’s arms holding him still.

“Leave go of me.   Thrush will make mincemeat of you if you touch me.” 

“If Thrush ever wants my help again, they will remember this little lesson.  How happy are they going to be with you when this little adventure fails?  Daddy is sure that they will see it my way and understand  when I run an operation, I’m in charge, and my orders are followed to a tee.”  Jim spat at him.

“Sebbie, tie up our friend and leave him here for the Ice Man to find.’  As Jim started to walk out he looked back, “And you don’t have to be gentle while you’re doing it. Before you leave, make sure those two,” nodding at Jo and Sherlock, “Aren’t having their blood supply cut off.   Wouldn’t want the Ice Man to be upset with us. Till next time, Sherlock.”  

As Jim left the area, he turned dialed a well-known number.

………

Napoleon and John were waiting for Illya to join them.   Even with the NSY and Mycroft’s people, it was taking far too long for anyone’s liking and frustration was rising as each floor was empty.  

“Nothing on three,”  Illya said sending John twirling around with his gun in his hand

“Don’t do that. I could’ve shot you. You’re like a cat sneaking up on us.”

“One of my partner’s many talents,” Napoleon smiled.  

“ Sorry I was late but I just heard from Mr. Holmes, and he asked we join him.   It seems he has a few ideas on how to limit the area to search.”

The three enter the operation headquarters as Mycroft phone rang.         

“It’s been a long time Ice Man.”   Moriarty sing-song voice came over the phone as Mycroft put it on speaker phone.

“Where is my brother and Miss Kuryakin?”   Mycroft demanded.

“Now, now don’t make daddy mad.   I understand you’re missing something and hear you’re searching the big warehouse area by the dock.  I was calling to help you out but if you’re not going to be nice…….”  Moriarty's voice took on a sulking tone.

“Help us out?” Lestrade said sarcastically hearing Moriarty’s comment.   “You’re the one responsibility for their kidnapping and probably torture.”

“Well, I am so changeable beside that Thrush man didn’t listen to me.   So I’ve decided to withdraw my support.   You’ll find my Shezza and the girl along with Euphuism together. I’m sure that Shezza discovered where the bombs were placed as I’ve been notified your men are waiting to defuse them.”

“What do you want in return for their return?”  John demanded. 

Moriarty chuckled as he answered. “I want nothing this time.   I know it's hard to believe, but I don’t like being disobeyed.  This little demonstration of what happens when you don’t do as you’re told will make an impression on my future clients.  So take it as a gift.”

“Where are they, Mr. Moriarty?   I am not in the mood to play the games and want some answer now,” Illya spoke up.   Napoleon placed his hand on his partner’s shoulder to encourage him to stay calm and could feel the tightness there.  

“Oh is that Mr.Kuryakin?   One thing I want to make clear  to all of you is my orders was not to touch them, but this Euphuism didn’t follow my orders.”

“Mr. Moriarty, this is all well and good, but where are Miss Kuryakin and Mr. Holmes.”  Napoleon broke in.

“And who are you?”  Jim made it clear he didn’t like being interrupted.

“Napoleon Solo, Section Two’s CEA of UNCLE.   Now would you please answer my questions   Where are they and how are they?”

“Oh yes, I’ve heard of you.   Is it true that you will bed any woman whom you meet?” 

“I am only asking you one more time, where are they?”  Napoleon made it clear he was done with the games the man was playing.”

“You’re no more fun than the Ice Man.  They were alive when I left them, but I would hurry up.  Euphuism did a job on them.   When I hang up, Shezza phone will be turned on.  You can follow his chip to find them.”

Orders from Mycroft could be heard in the background as Moriarty said, “I really can’t wait to meet you in person one day, Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin.   I’m sure Sebby can teach you both lessons in manners. By the way, I’d have three ambulances waiting.   As I said, Euphuism tried to get them to talk.” 

“Three?”  Mycroft asked.

“Sebby wasn’t exactly gentle with Euphuism when he tied him up.  Till the next time.”  A click was heard then silence.

A moment later, the beeping of Sherlock’s chip could be heard sending the searchers towards it immediately.

…..

The door burst open and searchers poured in.  Mycroft stood in the doorway leaning on his umbrella overseeing the rescue operations.  Seeing Jo and Sherlock tied to chairs, Napoleon and John headed toward them.

Gently the two were untied from their chairs and lowered to the ground.  As they opened their eyes, they were kissed. 

 “No medical…….no hospital” came out of both Jo and Sherlock at the same time respectively.

In the meantime, Illya headed toward Euphuism.

“If it isn’t UNCLE’s resident commie.” The Thrush agent slurred unable to speak clearly from the beating Seb had given him while securing him.  “Oh, that’s right now there are two of you.  The Commie Ice Prince and his sister the whore.  Too bad I didn’t have the chance to check her out.”

Illya grabbed his shirt in his fist and lifted him from the floor shaking him as he rose. Releasing one hand from Euphuism’s shirt, Illya punched him in the mouth several times. 

Illya dropped the man on the ground, “You will not speak about my sister like that.”

“Tovarisch,” Napoleon had joined him, “He isn’t worth it.   Come check out your sister before she is taken to the hospital.  Let Mr. Holmes and Greg take this piece of garbage out of here and question him.  I have a feeling their way of getting answers will be much more painful than what UNCLE allows us to do.”

Mycroft swung his umbrella toward the prisoner, “Take him.”   The look on his face promised there would be no mercy from them.

“Solo, you can’t let him do this.   I’m surrendering myself to UNCLE.” Euphuism yelled.

Napoleon turned toward him, a malicious smile on his face.  “UNCLE was invited here by the English government.  Mr. Holmes represents them.  We’re just honoring their request.”   He continued looking over Jo and Sherlock.

……

All the bombs had been disarmed, Thrush was surprisingly quiet about the failure of their plans, and Jo and Sherlock had been released after a night of observation.   They then joined Napoleon and John at the safe house for the few days when the doctors had ordered them on bedrest. Today they were all going home.

Jo and Sherlock were in the living room arguing over some computer issue, Napoleon, John, and Illya were sitting discussing some of the places they had seen when Mycroft arrived.  

“The cars are ready to take you to Baker Street, Sherlock, and you all to the airport, Mr. Solo.   I’m to offer all of you thanks from the Queen for your service to England.  Sherlock, the Queen would like to offer you a knighthood again.”

“Boring.”  With a dramatic eye roll, Sherlock slid his coat on turning up his collar. “Goodbye and good luck.  Perhaps we’re meet one day again.   Coming John?”  He called out as with a swish of his coat he turned and headed toward the waiting car.

“Thank you again,” Mycroft offered the UNCLE agents, “And sorry about my brother.   That’s the fourth knighthood he turned down.”

Laughing at the antics of Sherlock the three of them headed toward their car and with a wave left England for home. 


End file.
